Monday, April 20, 2009

marriage is love and sex; so don't rape one from the other!

The hullaballo that has been raised recently on marital rape warrants profound response.
It seems as if the media has found fodder for yet another black on the white cloth of Islam. Worse yet many ignorant adherents have fuelled this rather unculpable attitude towards women with an old fashion idea of sexuality.

The exchange of intimacy between two people is not only out of love and mutual consent but a private and rather divinely inspired event. When force rather than affection, coercion instead of voluntary intent and misunderstanding before accomodation become the rule of any union, then the limbs of such a contract are almost amputated. The next in line is the exit of the soul.

The contention here is- can love can be legislated? How can one force a woman, even if she is a consenting wife, to have conjugal relations every four days, as per media reports, when this feeling isn't conditional to a timetable, is beyond comprehension. Men may more function on numbers but it's a proven fact that women are our angels of emotions and respond with feelings and desires beyond any time frame. She isn't a switch of technology, available to fulfil someone's schedule of lust but herself a diva of beauty, whose satisfaction is equally paramount. Yes, biologically some days are more in the call than others but again to regulate sex to a sense of duty rather than want is simply unnatural. Islam is called the religion of fitra or nature, so thereore I condemn this sort of macho inspired resolution, no mater how politically expedient it may be for some.

Anyone who misqoutes a statement of Islamic text that angels curse a wife that refuses must study the authenticity of such a tradition and more importantly understand the context of its claim. Would this apply in the days where approach is forbidden or during other common reasons of refrain? Therefore, this is as much in her jurisdiction of agreeing as her marriage was. There is no compusion in religion- so says the Quran and similarly when she is uncomfortable there must be understanding- as the Quran again states- stay away from women when they are experiencing discomfort.

The Prophet of Islam would sensitively refrain from intimacy with his wife if she complained of even an eye pain. Of course, foreplay was his key in ensuring satisfaction during intimacy, to the extent the Quran refers to one's spouse as a garden- therefore tilth the soil of love well!

As a matter of fact, He, on whom be peace, condemned those husbands who hurt their wives during the day and then force themselves upon them like animals later. Hurt isn't only physical.

There should never be a disrespectful demand for such a sacred act of highest pleasure. Some cultures find it convenient to call her 'names', hence their attitude exposes their self conceiting pride of sexism. Rather, like magnetism, this ying yang between lovers should be as automatically romantic as the opposing poles are. Again, about this proposed legislation, would she be elligible for divorce in such a rightful refusal, or would she be jailed or stoned for infidelity-worse yet- such as the unjust string of legislations that treat women as chattel in some places? I hope not. So what's the use in the first place to rule publicly, with such immodesty, on an act so private?

It's time this type of domestic violence be ruled unlawful and a surety for women globally be established, that even in the name of marriage- her last vestige of protection- our mothers and daughters are never exploited, regardless.

In the words of Prophet Muhammad, she is a crystal and crystals do not only decorate but must be treated as priceless gems of pride, to be guarded thoroughly, before their inner beauty could be shone for the outer world to enjoy.

So to our sisters in pain, I relish your value not because you are the Eve of every Adam but you complete every man that loves you:- caringly.

Yours truly,

2 comments:

amena said...

you are such a romantic writer, and everything you said was so true.

carrasqueiro said...

The ending is beautiful, it show that you believe in Romance.

A well treated woman, always completes a good man.

A woman should always feel safe in his arms.