Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tribute to two heroes

The recent passing to the great beyond two very endearing elders of the Muslim community in Guyana heralds a bittersweet tribute on their behalf. Ayube Hamid and Shafeeq Khan were leaders, both in the public domain and the religious arena, known equally in the mainstream Guyanese households as darlings of God and humanity. Their passing away evokes a sense of loss- the bitter and the sweet- the satisfaction in knowing they have lived well and are worth every iota of the final rest Heaven promises of such noble souls.

Uncle Ayube, among the many characteristics that many remember and those that I happen to witness, was his passion to treat everyone that came into his interactive world with a sense of belonging and respect. Of course, being a broadcaster and later a tv host, he satisfied this truth and accentuated this exemplary model for a leader when he would put his hands around you and loudly whisper words of advise or simply answer your request. Maybe Obama's phenomenal win, a victory against racial overtures everywhere, at the time of us missing Hajji Hamid, is simply symbolic that this trait will continue to live and be globalised in another- for God works mysteriously.

Shafeek, Imam of Anna Regina, remains an icon of so many young people around the world as he travelled widely spreading the word with a passion and eloquence unmatched. Having been an ardent activist of the Ethnic Relations campaign against violent racialism, he displayed that sense of equananimous regard for all elements of spirituality, while forging his own personal beliefs to the loftiest pinnacles of sainthood- an involuntary award of a wali. The ceasefire this week allowing Gazans to breathe a little easier seems to divinely implies, if you may allow this parlance of sincere altruism, that when one so dedicated to peace and justice moves on and leaves with such an ever present prayer of sincere ceasefire, then his soul is heard before he expires and the manifestation of such a deep-seated wish for a more loving world wakes up, even if in another part of the global family.

I wish them well in the journey to the next world and pray for the wherewithal of endurance to be bestowed no their loved ones. When death arrives it's only because of years of toiling on the altar of righteousness that will allow elegies to be written and prayers to be sounded with such wide sweeping outreaches.

Nothing more, nothing less.

And yes you can!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage!

Ten ways to increase happiness in marriage!

The young and excited bride-and-groom-to-be; ecstatic about the upcoming wedding and marriage and the joy that it will bring. Three to six months later, reality has set in and both spouses realize that marriage is no easy task, but one that takes a great deal of effort and patience. The following are tips for both wives and husbands, to help make the task a little less daunting, and to increase the many rewards that are possible in such a marvelous and complex relationship. Enter the Marriage with the Right Intention and Renew this Often Both spouses should enter the marriage with the pure intention of pleasing Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, in order to receive His grace and blessings. The marriage itself then becomes an act of worship and one for which both spouses will be rewarded. Allah will be pleased with them and this will be the most critical element in ensuring peace, stability and happiness throughout the marital life. It is also important to realize that when an act of worship is continued over a long period of time, it becomes necessary to renew one's intention often to remain on the correct path and to obtain the most benefit.

Remember that Your Spouse is also Your Brother or Sister in Islam Too often Muslims treat other people outside the home with kindness and sincerity, but then behave in a very different manner when it comes to their own spouses. Muslims should always remember that one's spouse is also another brother or sister in Islam and that the rights and duties that apply to the general brotherhood (sisterhood) of Islam, should also form the basis of the marital relationship. Obviously, a spouse has rights beyond these, but there should be a clear understanding of the rights of brotherhood (sisterhood) and adherence to these principles.

Do Not Hold Unrealistic Expectations Before marriage, people often have unrealistic ideas about their spouse-to-be, expecting perfection in all aspects. This rarely, if ever, plays out in reality and can lead to unnecessary problems and concerns. We should recall that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, created humans as imperfect beings, which means that many mistakes will be made throughout a lifetime. By turning the table and expecting imperfection, we will be pleasantly surprised and pleased when our spouse is much more than we ever hoped for. This, in turn, will lead to contentment within the marriage.

Emphasize the Best in Your Spouse Since no one is endowed with all of the best qualities, emphasis should be placed on the positive qualities that a spouse possesses. Encouragement, praise, and gratitude should be expressed on a regular basis, which will strengthen these qualities and be beneficial in developing others. An attempt should be made to overlook or ignore negative characteristics, as the Prophet, sallallahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "A believing man should not have any malice against a believing woman. He may dislike one characteristic in her, but may find another in her which is pleasing." (Muslim) Be Your Mate's Best Friend Try to think of what a best friend means and be one to your spouse. This may mean sharing interests, experiences, dreams, failures and upsets. It may involve understanding a spouse's likes and dislikes and attempting to please him or her in any way possible. A best friend is also usually someone that can be confided to trusted, and relied upon. A spouse should be the kind of friend that one would want to keep throughout life.

Spend Quality Time Together It is not enough to share meals, chores and small talk together. Spouses should also find time to focus on strengthening the relationship. Often couples get busy with their own separate tasks and forget about working on one of the most important elements in life. Quality time may be anything from having a quiet, profound conversation to going for a nice long nature walk, to sharing a special hobby or project. Both spouses should enjoy the particular option chosen and distractions should be kept to a minimum.

Express Feelings Often This is probably a very "Western" concept and one that some people may have difficulty fulfilling, but it is important to be open and honest about one's feelings, both positive and negative. The lines of communication should always be open and any concerns should be brought to the attention of the other spouse as soon as they arise. The rationale of this is that what begins as a simple concern may grow into a major problem if it is not addressed quickly and properly. The "silent treatment" has never been the remedy for anything.

Admit to Mistakes and ask for Forgiveness
Just as we ask Allah to forgive us when we make mistakes, we should also do the same with our spouses. The stronger person is the one who can admit when he or she is wrong, request pardon from the other, and work hard to improve his/her aspects that are in need of change. When a person is unwilling to do this, there will be little growth and development in the marriage. Never Bring up Mistakes of the Past It can be very hurting for another person to be reminded of past mistakes. In Islam, it is generally not recommended to dwell on the past. One may remember errors that were made so that they are not repeated, but this should not be done excessively. Certainly, as humans, we are not in the position to judge another person. Advice may be given, but not in a harmful manner.

Surprise Each Other at Times This may entail bringing home a small gift or flowers, preparing a special meal, dressing up and beautifying oneself (this is not only for women), or sending a secret note in a lunchbox. A little imagination will go a long way here. The idea is to spice up the marriage and avoid getting into a dull routine that may negatively affect the marriage. Have a Sense of Humour This particular aspect can go a long way in preventing arguments and brightening the atmosphere of the home. Life is a constant stream of challenges and tests, and to approach it in a light-hearted manner will help to make the journey smoother and more enjoyable. You may also find that your spouse enjoys this characteristic and looks forward to spending time with you because of it.

Quick Tips for Discussions and Disagreements: Begin with the intention to resolve the issue. If both spouses have this intention and plan to consult together, it is more likely that there will be a successful resolution. Remember that it takes two to quarrel. If only one person chooses not to argue, there will be no argument. Generally, the one who is wrong does most of the talking. Both spouses should not be angry at the same time. If one of the spouses becomes upset, it is best if the other tries to remain calm and collected. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. Of course, house fires do not occur very frequently; yelling should occur at about the same rate. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. This is one of the worst things that can happen in a marriage and should be avoided as much as possible. This allows hurt feelings and thoughts to linger and generally exacerbates the problem. If one spouse needs to win, let it be your mate. Do not focus on winning yourself; this is the main reason that discussions tend to become heated.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

NAMF 8th Annual dinner

Despite the harsh weather and close to EidulAzha the North American Muslim Foundation held its annual gala dinner on Dec 8th 2008 and it was small but successful event.

Having planned it in advance it was not foreseeable how the holidays and weather will play out. However the fundraiser for the new Masjid Qurtaba at 4140 Finch Ave Scarborough coupled by needs of the earthquake victims in Pakistan made the evening dinner a marked success.

The speakers were simply astounding. Dr Lois Wilson of United Church stirred the sugar in the hearts of the varied attendees as she elaborated on bridging the gap among faiths and cultures. She has been a great inspiration at Massey College for bringing faith into the public discourse. The original speaker Perry Pither couldn’t make it.

Dr Ziyad Delic from Ottawa captivated the crowd with his erudite speech on Arafa and the ways of loving one’s partner. He built on this momentum to fundraise, reciting beautiful Islamic sings and verses of the Quran. It was a unique experience.

One outstanding member of the Muslim community was awarded for her stalwart contributions- Dr. Shanaz Dar, wife of the late Dr. Jameel Dar.

Entertainment that cold evening was warmed up with the famous Raptor performer Quincy Mack and the Torontonian nasheed singer Nadir Khan. The cuisine was a smart mixture of Pakistani and West Indian delights.


Canadian Council of Imams held annual dinner as an Eid get together


Members of the public were invited to dinner and presentation at 4140 Finch Ave Scar- Jameel Dar Convention Hall- on December 13th. This is the third annual dinner held by the Imams and this year it coincided with the EidulAzha celebrations.

Dr Mohamed Iqbal Nadvi, vice chair, spoke bravely on the three aspects of the Council, i.e. helping the Imams, reaching out to the governmental agencies and working with the interfaith bodies. He also touched on the Mumbai massacre. The council had condemned this act of violence and attended some interfaith prayers on the same.

Dr (Hon) Abdul Hai Patel, founder of this 18 years old organization, presented some of the achievements of 2008. This included attending a G8 faith leaders’ conference in Japan against poverty, preparing a curriculum to accommodate Muslim students in the school system, preparing chaplains for the armed forces and the prisons and presenting Islam in many interfaith forums. The council has been collaborating with Canadian Council of Muslim theologians on matters of halal and divorces.

The dinner was a sumptuous mix of biryani, thanks to the Qurbani gifts of the Imams’ followers! And entertainment was by the young artistic Kamal IMPACT from Mississauga.

Now tell me how can Imams de deemed scary!


Interfaith Eid dinner


Imagine being invited to a dinner in the name of Eid but the food is not another biryani pot and the attendees are not all desi or brown!

Well luckily we have people who still maintain the diversity of Islam in their works and lives. The Shahid Akhtar family of Mississauga initiated a dinner in the name of EidulAzha and had invited Muslims, Christians and Jews in their lovely home on December 12th 2008.

It was basically to eat and socialize. Well it was more – the food for thought was well relished as we had warm conversations on religion, politics, and cultures plus even what we do to make the society better. That should be the nexus of faith, isn’t?

Entertainment that evening was by the son Kamal and his Sikh friend doing a wave of hip hop and bhangra drumming. Habeeb recited a poem on Abraham’s love- a love that is so accepted that he was not forced to relinquish one for another.

Shahid Akhtar and Barbara Landau are co chairs of the almost two decades old Muslim Jewish Dialogue.

IFFSA Hosts second New Year's gala in Edmonton.

Having a wild time at Christmas and New Years is not what these Muslim professionals had in mind last December 28th in Edmonton. Organised by a youth group, the second new years dinner attracted alomst a hundred singles, mostly professionals. According to chair, Jawad Chaudry, the need is to provide a comfortable halal means of social outing that would facilitate networking.

Being in smaller communities oportunities of meeting a potential spouse is limited. Alisha Aashary helped oraganise this event as part of her social work portfolio at this Islamic Service centre. Brighly dressed to impress, these smart and successful Muslims were treated to a passionate yet informative and well interactive session on relationships by Shaikh Habeeb Alli of Toronto. On site was also a RCMP officer who is working with the Mulsim youths of Edmonton.They too have their issues- so Toronto it's time to help!

Shaikh Bin Bayya deals with Minority fiqh in Toronto

Sitting on the table were Sh Hamza Yusuf, Abdalla bin Bayya, and Abdulla Idris. That was not just for a nice pose at the Royal York last Saturday Jan 3rd. In attendance were both scholars and leaders of the comunity, males and females. The topic was Muslim minotrities and how to deal with issues of Sharia in their contrained settings. Sh Hamza translated while bin Bayya, a notable scholar from Mauritiania explained and answered. His main thesis is the Sharia has rules and those rule accomodate people of all circumstances. Among some instruments that may be employed to guide Muslim minorities is necessities overide prohibition and easing the difficulty oversteps the actual ruling.

Many questions were answered from the floor including calendar usage for Ramadan, Islamic finance and its validity as well as facilitating Muslims in summer during Ramadan in the cold North. The founder of a global network of scholars also emphasised that following law of the land is paramount and only in private laws one can exercise lobbying power to find accomodation of one's tenets reasonably. More sessions like these are definitely needed and it doesn't have be only when a notable scholar visits Toronto