Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Spice up your sex life- it's all halal!

Need to have more programs on this topic- I have done some of this kind of a workshop - and there is a demand for it- my website on has some of these too. Chemistry between two people happens on different levels and marriage doesn't guarantee all of those always.

Hence the need to connect with each other away from some of the roadblocks of intimacy- kids, non dressing up for each other, lack of travel together, lack of not doing community work or adventurous chores together, endless exposure to others, the syndrome of comparisson, etc. suggested ways of help- a counsellor will also suggest much these and the Sharia covers lots of ground under mubah foreplay:

Seek a getaway

Purchase lingerie's for her- give hints

Have candlelight dinners- soft music in the backgroun- if you're into that

Enjoy sexual conversations and jokes in privacy

Open communication- search where are each others erogenous spots

Look for each other turn-offs and turn-ons

Ensure the sex is spontaneous sometimes

The man must smell good, dress up and foreplay the wife more than just a slam down event!

The wife must seek creative ways of massaging, kama sutra or perfume garden helps in this lots!

Sexual exploration is an open field- I mean a huge open field except maybe anal sex for some Ulama- so never stop surprising each other!

Books and other media exposure helpsor even discussion groups as removing inhibitions is a educational process that needs cooperation from society.

Lots of taboo on sex has to be cleared by the Ulama-endless stuff in peopels minds that parents and others said is haraam or bad but its not!

2:223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe.

Tilth represents the preparation of one's garden and in this case the foreplay and even the afterplay and romance that comes with sexual territory. Time and patience are crucial to making sex appealing and creative.

The Prophet hated when men would jump like beasts on their wives and he warned if you donot dress for each other and look attactive then adultery will be your lot.

Looking at each other naked, oral sex and romantic spa moments all fall within the mubah and allowed grounds of preparing the tilth- so never stop oh gardeners of love!

Do you know Aisha, may Allah be pelased with her, bathed with her husband, on whom be peace, in the same bathtub and she would recite love poetry for him and he would for her? Do you know she would run races with him and kiss him each time he leaves home?



carrasqueiro said...

Very well done!

Spice up your sex life, it takes 2 people to be on the same page. The man & woman both need 2 want it. If the woman wants more from her partner, she is 2 tell him what she wants in a soft voice & he will listen. 4 a man @ get what he wants, he needs to listen to her, give her more intimate nights w candles & music. It will relax her, to have multiple orgasims & want more. Everytime should be diffent, women also get bored. Sex shouldn't just be in the bedroom, try in your truck on a rainy night in your driveway it will excite her as it did me.



Sh Habeeb said...

My definition of Love: – it extends across our higher emotions into the spiritual realm where everything good and beautiful is not only possible but where such things actually exist.

Love is the quality that intertwines with wisdom and gently governs and guides the practical decisions and actions of life.

Love is delicate and beautiful, but it is also strong, sturdy and reliable. (Some say only fools can truly love – that’s not a true statement – Emotions that goes out of control is not love).

Love is understanding, calmness, serenity. A person in love is often able to control his/her love out of respect or to take responsibility for the other.

Love gives confidence even in an hour of darkness. Love is the understanding of life thus preventing irrational behaviour.

Love motivates us to do our best at whatever we do, and to help the other survive well.

Love enables us to be patient with each other and to give our best in any situation.

Love brings laughter to our souls and allow our hearts to dance to the music communication.

Love goes beyond the future. It is here and now. Love itself is not passive but is ALIVE. It is not limited or finite, but connects true lovers with the source of life itself.

The way I imagine sex to be:

There are etiquettes in having sex. Sex begins with love as defined above, respect, trust, and understanding but most importantly communication (this is the element that you missed).

Sex is the ultimate in expressing emotions, desires and communication. Sex is not a one night stand or just a bang. (this is animalistic and barbaric). It is only satisfying bodily needs or weakness.

The true essence of making love is experienced by true lovers. One does not need books, videos, or other such teachings to make love. It is a natural process. Through communication lovers can discover each other. Demands and animalistic behaviour is a detriment to a relationship. Respect for self and each other takes precedence.

Respecting each other allows the exploration of each other bodies. For example to find the nape of the neck and associate it with the Sahara can cause arousal beyond my words.

To use your fingers to caress the lips - Tasting the sweetness of each other bodies, the smell of the cleanliness of each other.

Kissing is an art – to really be kissed would bring one to an ultimate climax.

Hearts beating in unison as he penetrates without hurry takes silent communication.

Sex can be gentle or it can be with great passion. . It can be planned or it can be spontaneous. It can be in a calm environment such as your bedroom among soft white cotton sheets or it can be in a sleeping bag on the Niagara Escarpment.

Sex brings two bodies together that allows two souls to envelope each other in total unison. . Climaxing together is not just ejaculation it is union of two lovers.

Making love requires communication of two bodies, two souls. Together they reach a satisfaction that brings peace, calmness, and respect.

It would be interesting to start noticing how many people are in love……I guarantee it would only be a handful. True lovers existed in the years gone by – the ones who wrote beautiful poems, drew amazing pictures, took incredible photography, wrote amazing songs., invented things that worked that man can use. Wrote many words of wisdom, wrote books, etc, .etc.

A sister wrote this. N M E

Sh Habeeb said...

How to make romance last
Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and author of Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love (Henry Holt, 2004), gives a list of suggestions for stoking love: commit; listen "actively" to your partner; ask questions; give answers; appreciate; stay attractive; keep growing intellectually; include him or her; give him or her privacy; be honest and trustworthy; tell your mate what you need; accept his or her shortcomings; mind your manners; exercise your sense of humour; respect him or her; compromise; argue constructively; never threaten to depart; forget the past; say no to adultery; don't assume the relationship will last forever – build it one day at a time; and never give up.