Sexuality and Faith: For A Better Fulfillment
Your love lifts my soul from the body to the sky
And you lift me up out of the two worlds.
I want your sun to reach my raindrops,
So your heat can raise my soul upward like a cloud.
Images of love making and sounds of heat-filled exchanges are splashed on screens more than from pages of Scriptures. Yet, sex is not the franchise of wicked pimps and the merchandise of insane harlots, running amok on Bollywood dance floors and spewing haram semen on lounge bars. The story of a naked Adam in company with a nude Eve is as much primordial as it is sacred reading of all our divine Books. Notwithstanding, married people are torn between these two oddities, it seems like, without much reference from Islamic sources, as to what should be the stand when sex and faith are jamming. Does sexual pleasure betray of a weakening Faith and/or should a strong faith exclude sexuality?
The sharing of passions, sexually, is the result of a connection between hearts and the sexual organs. It’s a natural thing. One should not be ashamed of it, and neither perplexed. Without sexual passions shared and moreover, shared in a responsible, deep-seated and satisfying way, one cannot hope to enjoy the greatest gift of life- cohabitation. Faith ensures that this element of intimacy is alive and kept sustained between the two consenting parties, in this case married and of humans of opposite sexes. The dynamics of sexuality isn’t to be reduced to mere meetings; simply the unions for procreation or fulfillment of marital duties. Just as food needs spices besides taste so does nocturnal relationships. Just as clothing needs style plus colors so too does conjugal relations. Just as Faith needs fanning of its dying embers so too does Love needs refueling of it’s depleting energy i.e. the rejuvenation of sexual encounters between rightful parties have to receive ominously from the quarters of love, passion, conversation, surprise, travels, retreats, erotica, entertainment, company, laughter, humor, lingerie, spontaneity, text messages, prayers, et al.
Let the Quran speak! 2:223 “Your wives are as a garden unto you; so approach your farms when or how you will…”
Foreplay is the gardener’s main job here. He digs up the soil, fertilizes it, waters the seeds and constantly overlooks the earth so flowers may spring. Imagine people are still stuck on whether to caress is fine; to kiss; to mutually enjoy sex orally; to practice fetish; to simply ruminate wild imaginations on the flesh of wet dreams or to touch one’s own genitalia for personal pleasures. These are acts that the verse above, without categorization or prohibition, calls hars- preparing your garden. Aisha, May Allah be pleased with her, reports that her husband, never mind being understandably older and religious, did not leave her sexual life high and dry. He, on whom be peace, ensured the carefulness towards a virgin, the spontaneity of a lover and the romance of a poet when he referred to her as a crystal! So they recited poetry together, ran races in laughter, bathed in the same bath tub out of sexual adventure and guarded each others secrets like true friendship demands.
The Books of Fiqh from olden times discussed in detail sexual acts without a blush! I once attended a Scared Sex workshop on World Religions and was impressed when the presenter finally came to Islam, he said: lastly, Islam, this religion has the best view- it’s an act of worship! Sex itself is an act of Ibada, for procreation or not. Abdullah ibn Abbas, ra, used to perfume his tent in preparation of his mate’s nightly encounter and considered this the greatest virtue- to please her! The Companions enjoyed multiple wives without the morning nagging.
The Quran reminds us, according to Al Gazalli, that when a man is in erection or a woman experiences orgasm, and by the way this is the most lacking Sunna among Muslim women today, the minds loses control. Q. 2:286 Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. According to the Da Vinci Code the Divine vision takes over in that brief moment of faintness. Therefore, ensure you do the best for each other sexually as such ecstasy breeds mysticism and definitely a security of marriage.
So let not Faith stand in the way of your sexuality, except, where precept clearly erects; like intercourse during menses as it’s painful or anal activity because it’s unhealthy or without matrimony as it produces illegitimate offspring and a tirade of jealousy.
Q: 2:187 “Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and you are their garments. Allah knows what you used to do secretly among yourselves; but He turned to you and forgave you; so now have intercourse with them, and seek what Allah has ordained for you…”
Rather allow the sweet sensation to tingle longer on the soft emotions of love and ride deeper into the abyss of your inner happiness, while lying bare on the rocks of Eden.
Oh Allah I ask you of the good of it and seek your refuge from the evil of it.
Sh Habeeb Alli is a freelance writer. Questions on Love can be asked at www.allexperts.com under his name.